Today was the big day. We were “graduating” and moving back home. I wasn’t ready.
“Oh, Violet. Of course you’d pick today to sleep in,” I sighed as I looked at the clock. 6:30am. We needed to get a move on.
Violet is not a bath fan. I learned that real quick. She’s mostly chill but put her in a bathtub and you’d think I was boiling her or something terrible.
My daughter looked every bit like Oscar. Her eyes were blue like mine but I wasn’t going to hold out hope that she’d gotten anything other than my fair skin. She even had her daddy’s midnight blue hair.
I was not eager to reconnect with Oscar when I got home. I had no idea if imaginary friends even stayed real when their “owner” vanished. I’m coming to terms with the fact that there is very little I actually know.
After more cuddles and reflections I finally tossed on some clothes and went downstairs. Sonia, Willow, and I were all having our birthdays and graduations in one massive party. Grandpa had stayed since Violet was born and so he was here to celebrate with me.
What to wish for? World peace? Love?
I wish that Violet grows up happy and well adjusted. I wish that she knows how desperately wanted and loved she is regardless of whatever happens. I wish that she never wants for anything and nothing ever breaks her heart. I wish that she will always be happy.
I blew out the candles and suddenly felt very grown up…if by grown up you mean scared shitless about all the responsibilities I now have to face.
Sonia and Willow then had their go at the whole birthday thing.
And suddenly we were adults. We were expected to have plans and jobs and whatever else you do as adults. All I had was an anxious worry buried deep in my chest.
“Now, when you get home, Ellie Jayne, I want you to have a serious heart-to-heart with your mother. It will do you both some good. I’m not always going to be around –”
“Don’t say that, Grandpa.”
“Hush and deal with it. I’m not always going to be around to swoop in and save you when you argue with your mother. She’s a powerful ally to have in your corner, kiddo. Make nice with her.”
After dinner and cake, we all went to the music room for one last concert. Naturally, I lost my marbles and was a sobbing, snotty mess about two bars into Sonia’s concerto.
“I’m going to miss you, Willow,’ I sobbed into her shoulder.
“I’ll keep in touch! Don’t worry!”
“I’m sorry! I drooled on your dress.”
“I love you, too, Dani!”
“Now, Danielle, you know you’ll be fine on your own. But Ridge Hall is always here if you need us. I’m just a phone call away though I know you’ll never need it.”
“Thank you, Miss Sylvia. For everything!”
“No thanks are needed, child. Go on now, your grandfather is waiting.”
A few more hugs later Grandpa grabbed Violet’s car-seat and my suitcase and helped me to the car for the ride home. I’d gone 8 months without talking to my mom about my pregnancy and now I’d be arriving home with a newborn.
This would be the longest trip ever.