Note from SweetPoyzin: It’s a long one. Language warning. Content may be upsetting to some.
Pregnancy Progress: 7.5 months down…almost there!
Next Doctor’s Appointment: Next Month
Notes about Pregnancy: I still haven’t named my bean, yet. And my back hurts.
Once our babies arrived, Miss Sylvia let us do our own thing for the most part. She kept a watchful eye in case we needed her, or carried the baby by the head, but I think we’ll do just fine.
Well, relatively speaking that is. Willow is the only one of us with a kid at this point. She’s really taken to motherhood though. She’s amazing with Noah and I kinda hope I’m as good as she is when my own kid arrives.
Sonia was due any day now. We all just kinda let her be since she’s turned into a real preggersaurus lately. I mean, I guess we can’t really blame her. She’s huge and like 4 days overdue but still — steer clear of that one.
I’ve started branching out in my artistic pursuits. I figure I’ll probably be a painter but I thought it would be a good idea to round out my skills with some musical instruments. I’m not saying I’m George Gershwin or anything but I’m pretty good.
Finally, on the 29th of May, Sonia went into labor. Little did we know it was going to change everything for our ramshackle family.
Miss Sylvia hustled Sonia into the birthing room on the 2nd floor and sent us all on our way again. She told us it would be awhile but now that we had one birth under our belt we were confident in our ability to hold it together.
I went downstairs to do my homework because I’m that girl. It was nearly impossible to concentrate with Sonia moaning in the birthing room. Combined with the thunder and rain it was like a God damned horror movie in my very own house.
Miss Sylvia even needed a break. Sonia was six hours into her labor at this point and we were all getting antsy listening to her.
“Now don’t you worry for even a minute, Danielle. I’ve delivered many a stubborn baby. Some little ones just take their time much to their mother’s dismay.” Miss Sylvia tried to calm us all with music but Sonia’s sobbing was too much for us.
By dinner time Sonia had been in labor for about 13 hours. I ate alone since Willow and Victoria needed a break from the commotion. They took little Noah outside to see the cows. He was totally underwhelmed by the adventure and passed out before they even got to the barn.
Even though we all knew we weren’t going to sleep that night, we still kept to the routine and went to our rooms by 10 o’clock. It was the worst night of my life to date.
“Please, please, Miss Sylvia. I can’t do this!”
“You’ve got to, child. Ain’t nobody here who can do it for ya.”
“I CAN’T! Something’s wrong.”
“You let me worry about what’s right or wrong, Sonia. You just worry about getting this little boy here.”
When I couldn’t take it any longer, I retreated to the art room to hide in my paintings.
By 5am the next morning, Miss Sylvia realized she was in over her head with this one.
She broke protocol and took Sonia to the hospital after 23 hours of labor. Granted, she called a cab rather than risk having Sonia’s name broadcast all over police scanners, but still, babies were to be born in this house for a reason.
It continued to rain all morning. By 3 o’clock we still hadn’t gotten a status update but the clock told us Sonia had been in labor for almost 36 hours.
I continued to paint.
7pm rolled around and we still had no word from the hospital. Willow buried herself in caring for Noah. All she could talk about was how grateful she was that he arrived quickly and safely. We seconded her notion and continued to make small talk. Nobody was hungry and by 10 o’clock we decided it was a good idea to go to bed.
I couldn’t sleep again. I wandered up to the playroom on the third floor and found myself a cuddle buddy. I suddenly realized that happy endings are surprisingly hard to come by. You’re lucky if you break even in life. I sat on the couch and cried. I cried for my daughter who was entering a world of confusion and uncertainty. I cried for my parents and how I’d let them down. I cried for myself and everything that I was losing. Too tired to even climb onto the couch, I cried myself into the oblivion of a dreamless sleep on the playroom floor.
I woke up a few hours later. There was noise in Sonia’s room!
I crept down the stairs and listened. After some mumbled cursing I realized that Sonia was indeed back home.
I knocked quietly.
“It’s Dani,” I whispered. “Can I come in?”
“Ok, but don’t freak out…”
What was that supposed to mean?
“Hey,” I said cautiously, “how are you?”
“Well, you know, I’ve been better.”
“Oh, yeah I can imagine. Um…how’s…?” I didn’t immediately see her son so I didn’t know how to finish that sentence. Luckily, Sonia knew what I was thinking.
“Here,” she said as she thrust the tiny ghost at me, “this is Timothy.”
Despite his most obvious issue, he was perfect. He had all his fingers and toes. And adorable head of hair. He even had Sonia’s nose.
“He’s beautiful, Sonia!” Beanie started doing somersaults in my belly, “and Beanie thinks so, too!”
I tucked little Timothy into his crib and marveled again at how precious he was.
“Gosh, Sonia, he really is just adorable.”
“Shut the fuck up right now. DO YOU HEAR ME!? Don’t ever tell me my son is perfect again. He’s dead.”
The look of pure hatred in her eyes was enough to send me reeling.
“But that doesn’t mean anything, Sonia! My great-grandpa died before he married my great-grandma and everything was fine for them! Timmy is still perfect!”
“Do you think this is a game? It’s not, you stupid twit! I was in labor for 39 hours and look at what it got me. My baby is dead. And you’re baby is going to come out alive and everyone is going to love her.”
“Everyone is going to love Timmy, too,” I pleaded with her. Sonia would have none of it.
“Are you that dense? You came here on your own! My parents sent me here to hide me because I was too embarrassing for them. Do you really think they are going to welcome their daughter and dead grandson with open arms!? No, they aren’t. You’re pretty fucking lucky and you don’t even care.”
“I get it, Sonia. I’m sorry!” But she was on a roll and there was no stopping this train.
“You think Willow and I are spoiled because we have rich parents? Well, you’re wrong. We’re raised by nannies who get paid to like us. We’re shuttled from one event to the other like God damned accessories. Here you have parents who love you and yet you come here to hide from them like a fucking pussy. Well I’ve got news for you, kid. You’ve got a baby on the way and you’d better grow the fuck up.”
Her tirade continued but I didn’t stay to listen anymore. I ran from her room and crashed through my door.
I sat down on the edge of my bed to catch my breath. I was on the verge of hysterics but I needed to pull my shit together. I needed to call someone.
“I can’t do this anymore! I can’t have my baby at Ridge Hall! I don’t want her to die. Please, please don’t make me have her here! Please! I want to go to the hospital! Please! Don’t leave me here!”
“Danielle? What? Hang on…what?”
“Please don’t make me do this alone! I need help!”
“Hang in there, kiddo! I’m on my way!”
After hearing those words, I passed out.