Note from SweetPoyzin: For this week’s bonus post we travel back to Winchester where we connect with Penny once more.
I finally understood what it meant to “see red.” I don’t know exactly how I found out that my twin and my daughter were in-cahoots over the baby but somehow I did and I was not happy. Seeing red is what I was.
I tore out of the house and ran all the way to my sister’s house a mile away. I was going to give that bitch a piece of my mind.
I didn’t even bother to knock. I just waltzed right in the front door and started yelling.
“You want to try starting this conversation again, Penelope?”
“No I certainly do not you back-stabbing asswipe! How could you not tell me my own daughter was pregnant!? Did you really think I was just going to send her halfway across the world without doing some digging into where I was sending her?” I could tell I was shredding her but I would not — could not — stop my tirade.
“Ir doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out why she chose Ridge Hall. Yes, they try to keep their mission low profile but I know why she wanted to go hide there. HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME!?”
“It wasn’t my place to tell you,” Liv said meekly.
“IT FUCKING WAS YOUR PLACE. SHE’S MY GOD DAMN CHILD!”
“She asked me to wait, Penny. She needed me on her side–”
“I would have been on her side!”
Liv continued as if I wasn’t throwing every ounce of my anger at her. “And she wanted to tell you herself. I thought she would have told you by now.”
“You betrayed me. How dare you.” I was fast running out of steam. The anger and frustration and failure was wearing me down to the core.
“Go into my bedroom. I have something that might help on the dresser.”
“Nothing will help right now,” I threw up my hands but went to look anyway.
“Oh my gosh. Liv is that?”
“Your newest granddaughter? Yes.”
I held the tiny photo in my hand and I wept. She was perfect. “Can I — can I keep this?”
“Of course you can, Twin. She’s yours.”
Liv grabbed me up in a huge hug as if I had never spit acid and hate at her. “Dani’s been calling her Beanie if that helps. I don’t think she’s picked a name yet. Come on, hot chocolate will help.”
“I’m so sorry, Olivia. I –”
“Shush. I already know.”
After filling up on hot cocoa and cookies (somehow my sister can fix everything with a cookie), I was finally able to have a semi-coherent thought.
“How do I keep failing these kids? Why didn’t she tell me? What the fuck do I do now?”
“If you’re talking about failing coma dream Katie, you didn’t fail her. She was a dream and from what I remember you did pretty well with her anyway. And you didn’t fail Dani either. I know you had ‘the talk’ with her and I did, too. She’s a bright girl, Penn. Nobody saw this on the horizon. And she didn’t tell you because…well, your her mom. She would never want to disappoint you and I think she felt like she’s the one who failed.”
I sighed. “That still doesn’t help me with that I do now.”
“She’s got a plan, Penny. She wants to stay in town and go to art school. She just needs your support and she can do anything.”
With more cookies in hand, Liv sent me home to think.
“What are you coming up with over there, honey?” Finn was crunching all kinds of numbers.
“Well, if we sell the training barn and I get a real job we’ll still be fucked.”
We were going to have to figure out another way to support another mouth to feed and college tuition.