Christmas break ended just in time.
Since we didn’t know what it would be like for Peter to give birth to an alien baby we didn’t want the girls around to experience it. We shipped them off to school and Peter and I got the house ready for his birth today.
Peter spent the morning relaxing. I knew he was freaking out inside because, let’s be real, giving birth is enough to scare the shit out of anyone, male or female.
“You can do this, Pete. We can do this.”
“We don’t even have the room set up, Penn. What the hell are we going to do with an alien?”
“Treat it like we do Kylie, Harper, and Simon. We love him or her. That alien is our baby.”
I set Peter down to watch some TV while I went to see who had good sales on baby furniture.
I rushed upstairs thinking it was time but really Peter was just nervous and didn’t want to be alone.
“I still don’t know how to feel about this, Penny. I mean, I’ve been impregnated by a freakin’ alien. Aren’t you pissed?”
“Peter, this baby is no different than Kylie. Just because I didn’t grow it or give birth to it doesn’t mean it isn’t ours.”
I didn’t have time to get another word in before Peter went into labor. Surprisingly it was only a couple minutes long. I wish my labor would be that easy.
Ok, well it wasn’t that easy. But still…it was short.
Pete gave birth to an adorable little boy. We named him Christopher James Pagano.
Now that the baby was here, we needed some furniture. We hadn’t decorated the new nursery because we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. So off I went leaving Peter home with our new son.
For some reason he was panicked about an alien baby despite the face that he was just a baby.
I came home and Peter was reading sci-fi novels to see if they had any information on raising baby aliens.
“Really, Peter? Really? Sci-fi novels?”
“You never know, P. We need all the help we can get!”
“You are being ridiculous! It’s a baby, Peter!”
I was about to leave the room to set up the nursery when Chris started crying.
“OH GOD! Penny…What do we do!?”
“You pick the baby up and comfort him, you dolt! Hi there, baby. Momma’s here.”
“See, Peter. Just like any other baby. Look at how happy he is!”
“I’m sure he just loves you because you are an amazing mom.”
“Well then make yourself useful, daddy, and go get Chris’s room ready while I play with this little spaceman!”
We will be just fine.