Our streak of bad luck continued.
Peter was coming home from the store late one night when he was abducted by aliens. Yeah. That shit totally happened.
“And they were really quite nice, Penny. Apparently they can’t stay here because we are all jerks but they still want to get to know us.”
“Don’t you think you should go to the hospital anyway? At least the Science Center. I mean you don’t know what happened to you up there.”
“No, P. They were really very nice. They wouldn’t harm me.”
“YOU ARE GOING, PETER.”
“Yes, Preggersaurus…I mean dear.”
And off he went because he knows what’s good for him. Or at least what won’t kill him. I’ll kill him. The hospital, not so much.
“Honey. We need to talk.”
Those words are never good news.
“Penny. Jeez. I got knocked up by an alien.”
We sat in silence for a minute because what the hell was I supposed to say to that?!
“Ok. Well, we already have a witch and a vampire. An alien wouldn’t be so bad.”
“Well, I can be ‘dewormed’ or we can give it back to the Science Center after it gets here.”
“Look, asswipe. If I’m going to be pregnant for nine months with your spawn then you are going to be pregnant for part of it with alien spawn. It’s only fair. And we’re keeping it because God only knows what the Science Center will do with an alien baby.”
“It will be here in about 48 hours. So pretty much the day after Christmas.”
“Oh good. I have time to put together an entire nursery and Christmas party in that amount of time. Yep.”
The only thing left to do was tell the kids.
“Kids. Daddy’s pregnant with an alien baby.” Peter was never one to beat around the bush.
“If you have any questions you know you can come to us.” I thought I should throw that in for good measure. Parenting and all that.
“You know what, Mom? I don’t even want to know how that works. But I’m guessing you’re telling us because we’re going to have five kids but only four bedrooms and you want to move Kylie into my room.” Harper always was a smart girl.
“Yes, Harper, that was the plan.”
“Ok, fine. She’s not nearly as stinky as three dumb babies.”
“HEY! I’m never stinky!”
We made sure the girls got a room makeover fit for spunky girls they are.
Little Simon got a Kylie’s old room giving him room to spread out and make an even bigger mess with his toys.