Note from SweetPoyzin: This chapter contains language that may not be appropriate for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.
France is by far the best place I’ve visited. I’m so in love with this place!
Not to mention they have the best beds of all the hotels I’ve stayed at on my travels!
Of course I bought Bug some goodies. Actually, I bought her A LOT of goodies here in France.
I’m taking it easy this time. I’ve been spending my mornings eating at the local cafes and staying out of trouble.
Well, mostly out of trouble. This time it wasn’t my fault.
Some woman asked me to go to this creepy ass deserted house and find out why the people disappeared.
The whole place was full of these stupid traps that I had to disarm.
It was a really neat house though. Since everyone was gone I thought maybe I could loot some of the furniture but I am not a kleptomaniac.
Super weird place though. There were all these burn marks everywhere.
And this whole deserted nursery should have made me think, “Penny, you should probably go back to the hotel and read a book…”
But I make bad decisions.
So I got electrocuted. I’d like to say it only happened once. But I can’t.
I went home and showered (which is why I was riding through the streets of France while singed) and then reattempted this whole mess later.
I found some dead bodies.
A lot of dead bodies. But I figured out that the guy killed his family and hid them in the walls and that’s why he ran off and nobody saw the family ever again.
I also did some excavating here, too. I did not obtain the proper permits, hence why I am digging in the dark of night.
I did not get arrested though and I found $10,000 worth of stuff! I’m so getting new furniture when I get home!
I heard there was a nectary nearby that allows tourists to harvest fruit.
Did you even have to ask if I did it? FREE FOOD!
I also spent a ton of time fishing. I can see why Xander likes it. Since I learned how to make frog’s legs I thought I would try to catch some frogs to bring home with me. My mother will be so impressed by this meal!
I found this really weird bird out by the lake. It’s a Spotted Sixam and is really rare. I befriended him and put him and he let me put him in my pocket to take home. I named him Storm.
Late into my trip I headed to the famous art gallery here in France. I seriously spent the entire day wandering the halls and still did not see it all!
It was also a little weird seeing miniatures or parts of big monuments in the museum…especially those I’ve seen in person in China and Egypt.
On my trip home from the museum I passed by this beautiful little house right on the river. It was a two bedroom, one bathroom vacation home and it was for sale. The best part–it was in my price range.
I knew right then that house was meant for me. New furniture be damned! I’m buying that house.
I went back to the hotel to sleep on it but ultimately decided to go ahead with the purchase. I could see making France a second home. I’d love to travel here with Bug one day.
I setup a noon meeting with the local real estate agent and then wandered to the cafe to have some breakfast.
Just as I was sitting down to enjoy my crepes my phone rang.
“Can you meet me behind the cafe?”
I made a new friend in France. His name is Gerald and he’s probably close to 20 years older than I am. We didn’t really discuss specifics.
But he’s a nice guy and after a month alone on the road a girl needs a little friendship.
We said our goodbyes since I would be leaving in a few days. Then I ran off to meet with the Realtor.
I went back to yet another serving of crepes (I might have an addiction) when my phone rang again. This time it was Adam.
“Sup, baby bro-man! How are things with you?”
“Oh they are good here…SoDadHasCancerAndMom’sGoneCrazyBecauseSheHadTheBaby. So actually things aren’t that great and I was wondering if I can I come live with you?”
“I’m still in France, Adam. No you can’t come–DAD HAS CANCER?!”
“Yeah he’s known about it since I was a toddler but he didn’t want to tell anyone and because the doctors said it was slow-growing and wouldn’t be an issue. Well somehow mom found out and now she is hormonal with all the post-baby stuff and she’s worried about Dad dying and she’s sleep deprived and might go postal. So can I come live with you when you get back?”
“I don’t know? I mean…Xander and I haven’t even moved in together yet!”
“I know. But when I asked him if I could live there he told me to call you!”
“Wait–you asked to move in with my BOYFRIEND before you called me?!”
“Well, no. First I asked Uncle Ollie. Then I asked Aunt Colleen. Then Grampa Vic. THEN Xander. They all said no so I called you.”
“So I’m like the last one on your list I see.”
“No, Liv is the last one. Everyone knows you are the fun twin. I promise I’ll stay out-of-the-way so you and Xander and get jiggy with it!”
“As your pseudo-parent I forbid you from referring to my sex life. And never say get jiggy with it ever again. Pack your shit. I’ll be home in a week.”
“YEAH! Mom is gonna be so pissed at you. I’ll see you soon. Try not to die!”
After I hung up with Adam I called the real estate agent to cancel the meeting. There was no way I could buy a vacation home when I now had to support another person. I sat down to finish my lunch but realized I wasn’t really hungry.
What was I doing taking Adam into my home? I’m not qualified to be a mother to a teenage boy. Even one as good as Adam. And Dad has cancer.
“HEY! HEY YOU, BITCH!”
I got up to see what all the commotion was about.
Turns out Gerard has a wife. A wife who just found out that morning she is pregnant. I’m sorry let me rephrase that.
It turns out Gerard has an EX-wife who just learned she’s pregnant with his child.
I think now might be a good time to return home…