Things got better after I gave Victor a piece of my mind. Well, that and my maternity leave was coming to an end. I was looking forward to getting back to work.
I even started to feel more like a normal person. I was able to do chores again and I didn’t get angry as quickly. The doctor told me I probably had postpartum depression and I would need to watch out for that next time.
It felt good to be getting out of the house. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the girls but I need some grown-up interaction. It’s so difficult to get that, even with Garrett, when there are two babies demanding our attention.
We hired a babysitter from a highly recommended agency. I felt mega-confident that my girls would be alright as I walked out the door.
I was really looking forward to my first day back in the office. The pay sucked. I was only making $39 an hour as a video game programmer compared to the $236 I was making in the military. Money was going to be very, very tight for a while.
I could not stop thinking about the girls while I was at work. Something seemed wrong. My “Mommy Sense” told me to call Garrett and have him meet me at home.
I rushed home like I’ve never rushed before. It was tough being that my broom is so old and slow but I got home as fast as I could and I’ve never been so angry.
Both of my daughters were hungry, dirty, and lonely. They were MISERABLE and screaming for good reason. The babysitter just stood in the corner covering her ears and yelling at them to shut up! I didn’t even have the patience to cast a curse on her. I just told her to get away from my babies and out of my house! She had the nerve to ask for payment and I told her she is lucky I wasn’t calling the cops.
“Oh, Penny. Mommy is so, so very sorry. There, there. Hush, little one.”
Garrett arrived just as the babysitter was leaving in a huff. He got the gist of what was going on and jumped right in to help with the girls.
“Garrett, I’m not going back to work. I’m not comfortable leaving the girls with anymore sitters. I just can’t do it. They are far too important for that!”
“Well, money is already tight, babe. But you are right. We just can’t allow that crap to happen again. Are you sure you can handle it? I don’t mean that in a bad way, either. I’m just worried about your health.”
“No, I can do it now. It’s silly but before today I guess I didn’t realize how much they meant to me. I thought they were more annoying than helpless little babies. They need my protection.”
“Well, then quit your job. I’ll back you up on this. And don’t worry about money. We will make this work. Also, call me at work any time you need help. Or call my mom. She’d be glad to come over and play with these little gems.”
As scary as it was to quit my job and know I would be home alone with the twins all day, I knew it had to be done. I couldn’t trust just anyone with the girls. They were too important and too precious. I knew we would make the new arrangement work somehow. It was just the how part I needed to figure out.
“Don’t you two worry. Mommy will never leave you to fend for yourselves again.”