Author’s Note: This post is picture heavy and long!
After 5 days at home with the girls, it was finally time for Garrett to go back to work. I was scared but we needed him to go. I was still on maternity leave and we couldn’t pay our bills!
I ended up wake at 5am too because the girls needed feeding. I swear, they scream at the same time just to annoy me. They are on the same schedule for EVERYTHING.
Before he left, Garrett came into check on us.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
“I just don’t think I can do this on my own.”
“Don’t be silly, honey. You’ll be fine. You are a great mom.”
He kissed me and said goodbye to the girls…who were now screaming because they were dirty.
“Remember, baby, you will be just fine.”
“Uh huh. Yep. Ok.”
And then I got a little angry and immature. I ran to the window and yelled down to Garrett.
“YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT IN YOUR STUPID JOURNALIST UNIFORM. JERK!”
I am sure it was the hormones yelling at him. He ignored me but his carpool probably thought he was married to a mental patient.
The girls still needed changing and baths and everything else. They were not afraid to let mommy know it either.
Penny was first because she had an “incident” that required a bath. I got her all squeaky clean.
And then she peed all over herself again. Oh…and me too.
“Penny…are you trying to make Mommy leave you in the woods?”
“Well, at least you are cute.”
Liv just needed a quick change and a snuggle.
“You are Mommy’s little cuddle-bug aren’t you Livvy?”
She thought it would be awesome to spit up on me. Why not? I am already covered in pee.
Ok well they are super cute when they are happy.
And they are pretty cute when sleeping, too.
And now that they are happy for a brief moment Mommy is going to take a bath.
Garrett came home early that afternoon. I almost didn’t recognize him.
“What are you wearing?”
“You said I looked like an idiot. So I bought new clothes over lunch.”
“Hmm…well you look nice.”
“How were my darling daughters today!? Cute I bet. Also…you decided to go all Mommy, I see.”
“What is THAT supposed to mean?!”
“Have you seen what you are wearing!? Those are total mommy clothes.”
“GARRETT ALEXANDER HANKS! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!
“What did I do?”
“I spent my morning dealing with screaming babies. Then I got peed on. Then I got puked on. I only just got a bath after being covered in goo for too long. Don’t you dare tell me I am dressed in ‘mommy clothes’ because you have no idea what it is like being alone with two newborns all day!”
“Mollie, I am so sorry, babe. I was a huge jerk. Here I come in with new clothes making fun of you and I didn’t even think.”
“Please, Mollie. Please forgive me. I will do better.”
I still put some spells on him. I gave him a good fire blase followed by an ice blast. I wanted to turn his stupid ass into a frog but genies are resistant to that kind of magic.
Oh well. I think he still learned a lesson.